Terrified.

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“Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.”

In 48 hours, I will be boarding my plane to my adventure abroad.

Whenever I talk about leaving the country to my family or friends, I feel like I am talking about another person. It has never felt like it was me that was going to live in Africa for 5 months. And as the hours creep closer till I leave the safety of Orange County and across the world, it’s slowly hitting me. Suddenly, doubt consumes me. Will I be ready, safe, happy? Am I ready to embrace a completely different life and culture, so different than anything I have experienced in my lifetime. Am I ready to be alone, to discover myself, and willing to put myself out there?

Fear is such a necessary, yet prohibiting emotion. Overcoming my personal fears of the unknown will be my largest challenge these next few days. And being honest with myself and others is difficult, I want to be brave and adventurous. I want to find myself and terrify myself by getting completely out of my comfort zone. But before I can mentally be at peace, I need to overcome my fears of the unknown, and embrace it as an opportunity for self exploration.

I’m slowly learning to be OK not being OK.

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One Comment

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  1. I didn’t read your posting until today, and I am so impressed with your deep “soul searching” and I marvel at your ability to face the unknown. You have certainlygrown into a thoughtful, intelligent and mature young person. I am so proud of you!

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